Name:
"I am A[a]rd, supreme leader of the revolution..." --Heavy Metal
Raymond Dennis Reginald DeVarque, a.k.a. "Aardy"
Age:
10 human years (several more than that in aardvark years)
Physical description and traits:
Height, about 6 feet from stem to stern
Weight, about 140 lbs.
Thin hair
Thick skin
Large ears
Short front legs with four claws each; longer hind legs with five claws each
Long, sticky tongue; used for catching termites and ants
Can dig a hole deep enough to escape from enemies in a few minutes, tops
Not particularly fierce, but will roll onto his back and use claws for
defense--claws that really can cut through material with the consistency
of concrete
Predated on by humans & lions
Residences, past, present and future:
Past: Anywhere that sports an "Aardy Was Here" mark
Present: Wouldn't you like to know?
Future: Anywhere that will sport an "Aardy Was Here" mark at some point
Major:(if applicable):
Honorary Degree in Termite Management
Occupation(s):
Termite Management Engineer
Which Marvel comic books do you read?
Excalibur, but only issues that reference "anteaters"
What else, comic wise, do you pick up?
Cerebus, natch
What is your favorite song?
The Laarge Daark Aardvaark Song (1950's novelty tune)
Favorite book published before 1900?
"Chuck" Darwin's Origin of the Species
After 1900?
Jack Prelutsky's The Aardvark Parked on the Ark
Your pick for any single Grammy award?
Special Award: Grammar Rock, for giving the world "Rufus Xavier Sarsparilla".
Favorite food?
Termites, with a side of ants.
Least favorite food?
Bleeding aardvark cake (from Steel Magnolias, sorta)
Favorite movie(s)?
the Elmo the Aardvark short features from the early 40's
Motto?
"Don't vark too aard"
Name something that happened recently that made you feel happy:
Finally caught that ferschluggener ant
Why did you fill out this survey?
Because I needed the exercise
Oh--you wanted a real bio of me? Try the one my wife wrote. It's better than anything I've had time to whip up.
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